“Travel may broaden the mind, but it certainly narrows the conversation.” “It was OK, but it didn’t blow my skirt up.” “I like pistachio nuts, because you have to do a bit of work first.” (When I was trying and failing to walk after being sedated, to have my wisdom teeth out): “You looked like a mime artist pretending to go down stairs.” “That’s what you said last night!” (To turn something into an innuendo). (When I was harassing him): “You’re like a wasp in a cake shop.” “I like Henry Hoover. I think all appliances should wear bowler hats.” (When I kept reading out someone’s status updates that really annoyed me): “Why do you keep reading it, if it annoys you? It’s like if you had a toothache iphone app and kept on pressing it.” (Discussing what superheroes we would be. I said I would be Ladybird Girl.) Arlo: “I’d be Rabbit Boy. Actually, that would just be this, wouldn’t it?” (and twitched his nose). (Whenever I tried to lick the Fruit Pastelle Ice Lollys he always ate): “Get your proboscis off me”. Me: Arlo, you’re a fox. Arlo: What do you mean- I’m ginger and I go through bins? Me: You can borrow my bike if you want. Arlo: Thanks, I will, if I want to get my head kicked off on the cycle path. Me: …it’s a mental health problem- I think it’s a type of synaesthesia. Arlo: is that the lady with the big hair and glasses? (Anastacia). Me: “Taking my time to perfect the beats, and I’ve still got love for the streets…” (singing along with Dr. Dre) Arlo: What, the streets of Tetbury? Me: I went to have my hair cut. Arlo: And it was shut, was it? Me: Why are you in the shower? You’ve just had one! Arlo: I had to have another one. The first one didn’t take. “Well, it is the craze that’s sweeping the nation.” “Daps”. “Swine.” “I wasn’t sure if that was the done thing.” “Put that in your pipe and smoke it.” ‘Bin Cough’ (noun): when you’re tying up a bin bag of rubbish, and all the horrid air comes out. E.g. “urgh, that was a horrible bin cough.” ‘Rudies’ (noun): sex